We all make mistakes, but it's what we do after those mistakes that define who we are. That next step is what counts. There is a hyperactive fear of making mistakes, followed with a crushing sense of doom afterward, that actually makes for more self-destructive behavior than it does to help.

Avoiding this behavioral cycle is critically important, so embrace the fact that we all can make mistakes. Abraham Maslow, noted behavioral specialist, said:

"In any given moment we have two options: step forward into growth or step back into safety"

I love this statement because it describes how much we should focus on not letting the fear of a mistake hurt us—that fear can instead drive us back to what we consider safety, and we never improve.

The art of Broken Pieces

In Japanese culture, there is a centuries-old method known as Kintsugi, which is the art of broken pieces, where they take broken pottery and remake it with gold filling in the cracks. This is an amazing explanation of how we are as people. Rather than looking at the broken pottery as useless and something to discard, the cracks are filled in to instead make it something even more beautiful.

With Kintsugi, the mistakes are what define the object's beauty, not what defines its flaws. Much like this, rather than hiding our own mistakes, we should consider them as something that defines who we become.

We are all in this together

People look to leadership and hope or think that they have all the options figured out, but don't realize they are often as uncertain as anybody else on the team. When we recognize that it is only by working together through any challenges we face that we all become stronger, then a powerful transformation happens.

When I worked at Kuali, we even had it printed on the wall: Make Mistakes. This wasn't meant as an idealized goal, trying to insist that everybody break everything. It was meant to recognize that we all do it, so recognize it, own it, and let's learn from it then move on!

I once had an employee come to me and apologize for his actions after he had openly criticized some things the organization was doing. He later regretted these statements, and with some fear, he was worried about his job. I told him: who was I to judge him, knowing that I myself make mistakes, and if he's going to put up with me, then perhaps together we can help each other be better.

Consider the alternative, where instead we find flaws in each other and use those to tear each other down (usually in private or out of band conversations)—this becomes a toxic environment, but probably one many people have seen or experienced.

We can be amazing when we work together to overcome our own rough edges, but it takes setting aside fear, uncertainty, and doubt; and more importantly, it takes acknowledging that we ALL make mistakes.